Change in plans

Last week on There was a post about the way your life is compared to how you thought it would be 10 years ago. I didn't post there but I thought I would post something here.

At this time 10 years ago, 1998, I was about to start my junior year of college. W and I were just moving into our first apartment in Forest Grove. I was working at Wal-Mart in the Fabric dept. I was excited to work on my music ed. degree. I was optimistic about my future career of teaching middle-schoolers the wonders of concert band lit. I thought that after I finished school I would find a job in-state, in a few years I would marry and have a couple of kids. I figured that I would be near my family and have a nice little house with a yard so I could have a dog and a garden.

Since then, I graduated college, moved to Portland, worked at a sheet music store for nearly 4 years. Decided to make a huge change and moved across the country to go to grad school in Washington, DC. I met Paul, graduated with one of two master's degrees, found a job, got married, got a wonderful dog, moved to York, PA, Paul was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, life was turned upside down, I had my gall bladder removed, I had a pre-cancerous cyst on my pancreas and my spleen removed. I commute an hour each way to a job I hate but can't afford to leave, Paul can't work and was denied social security disability. I bought a house in York, I have a tiny yard, my tomato plant has three tiny tomatoes, my bell pepper has four tiny peppers. I like the idea of having kids but I don't know how I could possibly handle the additional stress or financial burden. I can barely pay my bills, thank God for family.

I frequently have a hard time finding the positive side of these events but I still have faith that things will work out one way or another.