Drama

I'm so tired of the drama that is my life. I want a vacation.

Friday night I asked Paul to go stay with his sister for a while because I needed some time to myself. I feel like I have lost who I am. I'm enabling him by trying to reason with him when he is suicidal. I just don't want to lose him.

That night after the shock wore off I went to bed. At about 4 am I woke up to see him sobbing and writhing in pain. He was having a headache, worse than anything I have ever seen. I made him go to the emergency room. They did a CT scan and some blood work, everything was normal. We were there for 6 hours and left with a phone number for a neurologist.

His family was hysterical. They didn't realize how bad things were until I asked if he could stay with them. Now his sister is going to help us by paying for him to go to a better psychiatrist since the one he sees now is worthless. I hope that between the neurologist and the new psychiatrist that something gets figured out. I can't keep going like this.

Two years

Today is the second anniversary of my marriage to Paul. We went out for a wonderful sushi dinner last night and as we drank our second bottle of Chimay, we talked about the good things that have happened in the past two years. We talked about all of the crazy places that I would drive to to pick him up when he was OTR, our adventures in moving and homeownership, wacky times with Hannah, and times just like the one we were having. This talking led to some discussion of the not so great times, which unfortunately greatly outnumber the good times. His suicide attempts, my surgeries, both of our upcoming CT scans, the money trouble, being denied Social Security, the ever-changing medication cocktails, my severe hatred of my job, and more. FOrtunatley when we were talking about the very worst, our waitress Carmen brought us a piece of cherry cheesecake and we became a little more lighthearted and went back to discussing the good things.

As difficult as these two years have been I would not trade them for anything.

Are you serious?

In the land of unbelievable things.

I have to set this up a bit. My desk is just inside the door of the library and is very hard to miss. On the desk is a stapler, tape dispenser, pencil sharpener and mug full of golf pencils. The previously mentioned items are there for student use.

This evening a male student walked into the library with a stack of papers in hand. He proceeded to ask "Can you staples these for me?" I replied that I would not but he is more than welcome to use the stapler. He gave me a dirty look and commenced with the stapling.

Am I unreasonable or was he? Perhaps if his hand was broken I might have done this but he is a perfectly capable young man and is just lazy.

Fun times

Sometimes we have fun at work. One coworker is getting married this Thursday. In celebration of this we filled her office with balloons and confetti. The balloons were saved as yesterday was the Dean's birthday so her office was filled with balloons and confetti this morning.

She is a bit of a prankster and decided that the balloons were not done yet. Soooo, she and I convinced one of the (more gullible) instructors to let use borrow his car, so we could go get gas because the Dean's car was empty.

With keys in hand we packed the balloons into giant trash bags and began to fill Suresh's car. It took three trips but we did it. A bunch of students were staring at us like we were crazy but we just giggled and kept going. He is in for quite a suprise when he gets out of class at 10 pm :)